This page is dedicated to the resources I have collected on death and grief. My sweethearts dad died suddenly, and his death was complicated and full of unknowns, a little while later my dear friend Ruth was diagnosed with Colon Cancer, she died one year later at the age of 32 surrounded by us- her family & chosen friend family. After Ruth died, my sweetheart and I moved into his dad's house, where his dad had died just a few years before. Just a few months after Ruth died, a few months after moving into the house where my sweetheart, Ebens dad died- my dad called and told me 'mom is dead.' For a long while after my mom's death I didn't really want to live. I felt broken- healing is slow and long. Friends and family showed up with food, books, poetry, bottles of wine and jars of tea. It was hard to choose life day after day, but I did and I am so glad to be living-- I know feel I can live in a way that honors my beloveds.
This is an incomplete list of resources that were helpful to me during and after the darkest days. I am currently working on a zine (a small self-published book) centered around death, but while it is in progress I wanted a place to gather these resources- so that when folks ask 'what was most helpful?' I can direct them to this list. Right now my zine is just a basket of writing, articles, poems and drawings till it is finished may this page act as an 'online zine' that you can look to if you need it. It isn't perfect or complete, these aren't the things that are right for everyone or every situation but these are things that helped me and so I want to share them with you! We can't and shouldn't do this alone. If you feel alone please email me at: email@example.com
*It should be noted that not all of these resources are aligned with my truest self-- they are not all wondrously 'on-point' with all of my politics and values. However, when you are in shock or stuck in a shit hole of terrible times even one phrase that shimmers for you can be helpful. Lastly- my mom is Jewish, my dad was raised Catholic but I was raised without religion-- HOWEVER, when I asked my amazing and complicated parents about 'church' and 'religion' they would say 'the woods are our church.' When my friend Ruth and then my mom, Suzann died I craved community that had rituals and a story for what happens when we die-- something to hold on to, something to believe in or trust. Since I didn't have that it was lots of creating my own rituals, asking people questions (especially older folks) and going outside into nature or to the library. *I started organizing this page a year after my mom's sudden death. The shock has worn off and it still hurts more then anything has ever hurt but it does get easier. It sucks so bad but if we can heal through loss it makes us so full of magic + power and lots of joy for being alive on this earth.